I’m constantly dealing with this internal dialogue, that’s telling me I’m not as good as someone else and that I won’t become the person I hope to be. Maybe it’s not so much a dialogue as it is a monologue.
A large part of me seeks validation from both those I know and those I do not. I want to be seen by the public as someone of worth, as someone deserving of recognition. I know that I need to find it in myself first, but it’s so difficult to get there. The fear of going through this life as mediocre is overwhelming.
Every now and again I remember to tell myself something else. That no matter what I end up doing in this life, I can be at peace knowing I worked hard and did all I could. Even if my dreams of being well known and praised don’t come to fruition.
Of course, that’s much easier said than actually believed. Most of the time I’m comparing and putting myself down in response to seeing others my age who are seemingly better than I am.
But you know what.
I’m going to try my darnedest to achieve my dreams. It may not be recognized by the public or by a large group of people. And that’s okay.
I may not accomplish everything I want to in this lifetime. And that’s okay.
The timing of when and how things happen for me may not be what I hope or expect. And that’s okay.
It’s okay, because I’ll have worked hard and done all I could to make this life meaningful.
That’s more than enough.